Over the past 22 years, in her practices at The Priory Hospital and Harley Street, and her 17 years working with couples in the Sex and Relationship Clinic at Guy’s Hospital, Sylvia has seen hundreds of couples struggling to keep their relationships together.
Sometimes there are external “influences” which cause relationship discord. It can be due to financial difficulties, sex problems, one partner’s chronic ill health or work-based problems.
The causes of a relationship breakdown are endless, and everyone suffers, and everyone loses, especially your children if you have them. Sometimes it may even be your ‘furry friends’ (beloved pets) that also suffer. Couples have been known to fight over who will take the cat/dog/whatever, in the same way as they might quarrel over who will have the family silver that Aunt Sally gave them both as a wedding present.
It’s not good, and it doesn’t do either of you any favours to arrive at such an impasse.
If you want to separate and you see no alternative, before you make this final move it may be worth investing a little time and money in couple therapy (it’s always cheaper than divorce!), and the outcome can be chosen by the two of you.
If you have a shared goal, to stay together but want a better relationship, couple therapy can help. However, if you definitely want to separate or divorce, you might owe it to each other and your children (if there are any) to check out all avenues before you take this huge step. If there is simply no alternative to separation or divorce, you might want to engage in couple therapy to improve your communication with each other before you “battle things out with your lawyers”.